What Does 'Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life' Really Mean?
The Neuroscience of Change
How many times have you read this passage: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life? It seems like it would be so simple to do while providing a huge outcome. But what is going on in your brain when you actually try to undertake this shift?
We have to start at the beginning to determine how the thoughts you are having create your life. It would be very nice if our brain was easy to explain. But the complexity of its function makes it the miracle it is. When you are creating a habit you think and do the same thing over and over. Your brain adapts to those thoughts and actions. That is the beauty of neuroplasticity. Your brain is adapting to your environment all the time. New neural pathways are created when we consistently and repeatedly do or think the same thing over and over. Your brain has limited energy. It expends a lot of energy when you are thinking consciously about what you are doing or repeating in your thoughts. Once you have created that pathway you have hardwired it into your subconscious. The subconscious is very energy efficient. It doesn’t actively think about what you are doing or saying to yourself – it just does it or believes it. Now you are living the life or thoughts you created, automatically.
This is great if your thoughts and actions move you forward in life. But what happens when that isn’t the case – when you are stuck and just can’t seem to break through to create the life you really want? Here is what is happening in your brain when you are at this crossroad. Neuroscientists use the triune brain analogy. The triune brain has three parts: the reptilian brain which is responsible for our primary drivers such as eating, sleeping and sex; the limbic system which includes our emotions, connection with others, memory and habits; the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for higher order thinking. The prefrontal cortex takes more energy to function whereas the limbic system is energy efficient. What this means is that it takes more effort to think about and do something new than react to instinct and habit (Langley,S. May 23, 2012).
Our habits, rituals and routine are formed in the basal ganglia, part of our limbic system. It is low energy and functions without much effort, designed to allow the prefrontal cortex to process new information and more complex decisions. Whenever we act or think in ways we have done in the past, we reinforce the neural connections in the basal ganglia (Langley,S. May 23, 2012). Changing a habit or thinking new thoughts takes concerted effort. This takes a lot of energy and the brain gets tired. It really wants to go back to the comfort of your established thoughts and patterns because it conserves energy.
Dr. Jenny Brockis has formulated a brain friendly plan of action. This plan is based on understanding how goal setting works and then implementing this plan:
What is it that you want to achieve and why?
Is it a stretch or a snap?
Who are you reporting to?
Is the path to success clear?
Is there a plan?
By setting goals and writing those goals down, the brain is embedding the template to work with. It eases the confusion and uncomfortableness associated with creating a new habit. It is about producing a positive, enduring and desired change.
Now how to we change toxic self talk? More often than not you have experienced your inner critic inside your head filling up your brain with judgments, doubt, undercutting your self-confidence. The continual voice of your inner critic can have life-changing consequences. Everything you say to yourself matters. This thought process can inhibit you, limit you and keep you from the life of your dreams. With consistency and persistence, it can escalate to depression and anxiety.
Initially self-criticism might look like a way to changing yourself, to achieve more or be a better person. In choosing self-criticism as a means to improve, you are actually punishing yourself. Your brain is going to stay in the stress mode and not be able to sustain enough energy to achieve your goal. When your inner critic consistently labels you in a negative way, it has a demoralizing effect and shapes your larger self-concept about who you are and what you can do (Villhauer,J. March 16, 2016). It doesn’t matter if your inner critic is true. There are better and kinder ways to treat yourself.
Here are four steps that will silence your inner critic:
1. Notice the critic
In every conscious moment we are having an internal dialogue with ourselves. Because these thoughts may occur automatically we are usually not aware of our thoughts moving from one thought to the next thought. Making a conscious effort to slow down our thoughts will make us aware of the inner critic when it appears. We can also be alerted to our toxic thoughts by the way we feel.If we are unhappy, tense, feeling doubt, guilt or shame, our inner critic is in control.
Exercise: For one week keep an inner critic log in a notebook or your phone. When you notice yourself being self-critical note two or three words that describe the situation followed by what the criticism was. (e.g. got up late/I’m lazy; meeting with boss/I’m a bad employee; fight with Mom/I’m a bad daughter).
In recognizing your inner critic, you can stand up to it.
2. Separate the critic from you
You weren’t born with an inner critic.It hides in the shadows and thrives when you mistake it for being part of your authentic self. It is a voice you have internalized from your life experiences. Give you inner critic a name – any name is good.You are separating your inner critic from your identity by referring to it by name. Then you will be on your way to freeing yourself from its influence.
3. Talk back
Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power over you. By simply telling your inner critic that you have no interest in what it has to say, begins to give you a choice in the matter. When you hear that voice – just tell it to go away; you refuse to listen; tell it you are choosing to be kind to yourself instead.
4. Replace the critic
Now you need to grow an inner voice that is your own best friend. No matter what your inner critic has told you – you do have positive traits. This is where you need to retrain your brain so that you can see these positive traits.
(Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D., March 18, 2016)
Our brain scans the environment to match up circumstances to support our view of ourselves. It becomes difficult to believe information that is contrary to our inner critic – even if that information is true. You constantly have to be aware of what your inner critic is saying and contradict and challenge that belief in a positive way. The more often you challenge your inner critic and reinforce your positive thoughts you will eventually win out over your inner critic.
Your brain can change – the power of neuroplasticity can change your brain. But you have to realize what you want and need to change. It takes effort, attention and action. You can change if you realize how your brain works.
Langley,S. (May 23, 2012). The neuroscience of change: why it’s difficult and what makes it easier. Retrieved May 2, 2016 from http://langleygroup.com.au/neuroscience-of-change-what-makes-change-easier/
McKay,S. (2016). Change: tools for implementing change. Neuroscience Academy.
Vilhauer,J. (March 18,2016). How to stop negative self-talk. Retrieved May 12, 2016 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201603/how-stop-negative-self-talk